Guy Gets Woke Up, Kicks Other Guy’s Ass, Gets Arrested! His Wife Responds to Dumbass News!

Best of Dumbass News

Remember this post is rerun, so the numbers in it are old also.


It’s not often that I receive an update to an old Dumbass News story.

Unless I do some serious journalism.

As a matter of fact, this post will be Number 1248 in a Trail of Dumbassery that dates back to September 19, 2010.

Guess how many times I have received any sort of update from readers to any of those 1247 previous stories?

Exactly. Three. Times.

And I got two of those just after midnight yesterday! 

Alert Dumbass stoo, Dumbass Emeritus was Stoo-on-the-Spot with regards to yesterday’s story pointing out some very pertinent information pertaining to the disposition of the legal case against a restaurant owner who created a porn site in the name of a lady who gave her restaurant a lousy review.

I thought, “Well, that’s pretty damn cool!”

Then, out of the blue, like Al Sharpton barreling towards a TV camera through a crowd of Hungry Raaaaacist Poor White Kids devouring the last of the Gubmint Cheese depriving Poor Minority Children of their much-needed Gubmint Cheese Allotment, I got a comment updating the status of another legal proceeding against a Dumbass I wrote about back in September, 2012! 

Read the rest…..

Dumbass Flashback: Thanksgiving Memories, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving, Dumbass Horde!

Saying grace…..
I’m a Leg Man Myself

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Dumbass Thanksgiving Photo Album!

Happy Thanksgiving, Dumbasses!

The First Thanksgiving

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“Liquid Ass” & Other Dumbass Holiday Gift Ideas from Snarkfest!

I am a Guy.

I hate to go shopping.

Except for shopping while taking a doo doo.

What I Do When I Go Shopping

  1. I make a list.
  2. I get the shit on The List as quickly as possible.
  3. I pay for the shit on The List.
  4. I go home.

This is how God Hisownself intended things to be for men.

On the other hand, The Almighty, Creator of All That Is Good and Shopping Too bestowed upon wimmin two things that in the Final Analysis of the Glory of the Universe are relegated solely to the Fairer Sex - the miraculous ability to give birth to Baby Human Beans and the Capacity to Shop With the Ferocity of a Rampaging Herd of Wild Buffaloes With Their Asses Set On Fire With Kerosene. Sometimes this phenomenon referred to as “Black Friday at Wal Mart Even If It’s Not Black Friday”. It is indeed one of the Great Mysteries of Life. 

Galloping to the rescue (on an albino jackass named Cletus) for shopping-challenged Dumbasses like me comes the Official Sultanette of Snark for Dumbass News, Teri from Snarkfest!

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Dumbass Scorched Tongue Video: When a “Cherry” Is Not a Cherry!

Not What She Ate

Best of Dumbass News

When a cherry is not a cherry…..

See the video here…..

Dumbass Outdoors: Hunter Bags Buck: Deer Gets Revenge!

I have lived in some states in our country where hunting is a Big Deal. 

In Texas, Colorado and Maine, hunting is a birth right, exercised by several generations of millions of families in that trio of states.

It may come as a surprise to you that each and every hunter from all those generations are members of PETA. No, Dumbass not that PETA. I am talking about the Redneck version of PETA – People Eating Tasty Animals.

There is a similar organization of PETA in Spain – Los Pendejos de PETA.

Marino Malerba is one of those pendejos.

Read the rest…..

Dumbass Mom Slaps Kid at School! Yikes! Wrong Kid!

Best of Dumbass News

Have you ever come across twins or triplets so identical you wonder how anyone can tell them apart?

I have.

One time many years ago I was at a Dairy Queen in Tyler, Texas having a cheeseburger when a nice family came in. First in was a little boy, followed by Mom. Dad was holding the restaurant door open for the rest of the group. In walks a little girl closely tailgated by another little girl who looked exactly like the first girl. I thought, “That’s cool. Twins!”

I was wrong.

Read the rest…..

A few nano seconds after that another little girl came through the door. She looked exactly like the two other girls who came in before her. I remember thinking, “Wow! That’s something you don’t see every day! Triplets!”

I was wrong.


Dad is still holding the door open when…you guessed it…yet another little girl walked in.


I’m telling you that it was damn near impossible to tell which girl was which. It was like the same little girl had walked into the Dairy Queen and somehow sneaked back outside and re-entered the place three more times!

I have never before that moment nor since seen anything quite like that.

Which brings us back to our opening question. How the hell does anybody, besides Mom and Dad, tell kids like this one from the other? If they were a precocious quartet, I bet they could pull some bodacious swaparoony tricks on some folks.

But what if the kid was a singleton? Easy to I.D., right?