Hello. My name is Toby and I like Reality TV. There! I said it! I am finally free of living a double life. Yes, friends, I am not who I appear to be. You know me as a New Media Stalwart, a pioneer in the study of dumbassery, a blogging man amongst blogging boys during the day, but at night I, too, am a dumbass. I watch some of the most vile and demeaning shows on TV. And I love it! I can’t help it. When Ron on Lizard Lick Towing goes out to repo some poor dumbass’ car and gets smashed on the head with a Natural Light Ice beer bottle, I can’t help but get a thrill from his misfortune. The Germans have a word for that – schadenfreude – taking pleasure in somebody else’s misfortune. Please save me from this torment!
In the meantime, I have a Reality TV scoop for you today. Jennelle, one of the young ladies who was featured in the MTV Series Teen Mom 2, has found herself in trouble with the law for beating the dog shit out of another young lady. Why would Jennelle do such a thing? A little background first….Jennelle had a real prize of a baby daddy. The dumbass was a coke head, pot smoking, irresponsible loser, but so is Jennelle, except for the coke head part. Without going into great detail, she’s a lousy mother who stole her mom’s credit cards to take Coke Head Boy to New Jersey and ran up an $800 tab. Yes, I said New Jersey. I told you she was a dumhbass. Jennelle is such a fuck up she dumped her kid off on her mom and finally signed over custody to the mom. It’s really a sad story when it comes to the little boy, who is about a year old. BTW, Grandma is a real peach, too, but she takes great care of the baby. Enough background.
Back on point, Jennelle beat the hell out of another young lady for allegedly committing the Cardinal sin of flirting with Jennelle’s boyfriend! That’s worth an ass-kickin’ where I come from. <—that’s sarcasm there. And believe it or not, <—-that’s more sarcasm, TMZ has a video (WARNING: IT AIN’T PRETTY) of the beatdown. You can tell that Jennelle is still a trashy little hussy by her choice of friends, who in the video cheer her on her to fight the other girl. While Jennelle is a dumbass little tramp, her friends are the dog shit on the bottom of your hiking boots – the worthless little bastards. See why this is such a smash hit TV show? There’s already a third season on the way! And to think that I watch this shit. Before going any further, let me say that some of the young moms in the show turn out to be great moms with a lot of support from their families and friends, so it’s not all bad. But, it’s like the car wreck on the freeway, you’ll rubberneck to see that sucker like it was the Second Coming. It’s the Dumbass Gene in all of us. It’s just that Jennelle was blessed with a Double Dose of the Dumbass Gene. Here’s to hoping that she gets all her ducks in a row. Dumbass.
UPDATE: One of Jenelle’s “friends” who was at the altercation, says that Jenelle was PAID after she and her pond scum “friends” sold the video for $45,000. More info can be found here. If true, further proof that Jennelle is a worthless waste of skin. For now, I’ll refrain from being more “colorful” in calling her exactly what she appears to be.
UPDATE 2 : Selling price of video corrected to $45,000 not $5000 as previously stated. Sorry about that.