Monthly Archives: November 2013

Dumbass Excuses for Missing Work!

Best of Dumbass News

My late Dad used to tell me that he wishes he was born rich instead of good lookin’. I face that same dilemma, but it’s a burden that I must carry until I am “The Late Toby”, which I hope is no time soon. The point is that if my Dad had been born rich instead of drop dead handsome (like me), then he would not have had to drive a truck for over 40 years and at least 6 million miles, most of that in Texas. I can tell you this: it was a rare occasion when Dad called in sick to work. Nowadays, people call in sick with some really, shall we say, “creative” excuses for not showing up to his/her job.

While doing my usual looking for something to steal from another site in-depth research, I came across a web site named The Hiring Site. The following list of excuses for missing work are quoted verbatim from that site. My commentary will follow each “excuse”.

This is gonna be good.

These are actual excuses used by actual Dumbasses for not showing up for work.

Read the rest…..

Images From a Dumbass Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving,          Dumbass Horde!

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It’s a Dumbass Thanksgiving If…..

It’s a Dumbass Thanksgiving if…

… you’ve ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a ping-pong table.

… Thanksgiving dinner is squirrel and dumplings.

… you’ve ever reused a paper plate.

… if you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.

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M C Turkey: U Can’t Stuff This (Video)

You can’t stuff this.

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Dumbass & Elephant He Saved Reunite! Elephant Kicks His Ass!

I love animals.

And not just the ones that taste really good when cooked medium rare.

As a matter of fact, I am a cat owner. Or should I say that The Cat owns me. Her name is Lou Lou. My family and I adopted Lou Lou (then named “Charlie”) from an area Pets Mart that partners with the local Animal Shelter in finding “Forever Families” for dogs and cats without homes.  

I have also written many animal-themed stories on Dumbass News.  

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Bomb Threat at Guacamole School!

A while back I posted the first “Guide to Dumbass Excuses for Missing Work”. I knew that I had covered only a few of millions of reasons to take a day off from your job.

There’s one excuse I left off that list that’ll blow you away when I reveal it to you.

It’s also a felony.

Let me splain.

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Best of Dumbass News – Dumbassisms: Only in America!

Best of Dumbass News!

couple of posts ago I mentioned that I am big on sayings. You know what I mean. Those witty one liners that makes so much sense you wonder, “Why the Hell didn’t I think of that?”

A few days ago I got an email from a good friend of mine in Texas, who would like to remain anonymous, so I will refrain from telling you that his name is Ted Nicolai. So Ted my friend shoots me this email with all these cute one line observations on it and I would like to share some of them with you.

I shall call these witticisms “Dumbassisms”. I would call them Tedisms, but the words “Ted” and “Dumbass” are interchangeable and I like the word “Dumbass” better than the word “Ted”. If I liked “Ted” better, I would have named this blog “Ted News”, but I didn’t. Besides, everybody knows what a Dumbass is and nobody cares about what a Ted is.

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