Does Your Neighbor Fart in Your General Direction? Kill Him!

Best of Dumbass News

Fearless Leaders lead.

That’s what I do for you every day.

lead you. I lead you into the depths of human depravity and Dumbassery.

I must say, however, that this blog can be educational as well. Today for example, we will study etymology. Wikipedia defines etymology thusly, “the study of the history of words, their origins, and how their form and meaning have changed over time.” 

The word we’ll take a look at today is one that is used and actually practiced daily here at the Dumbass Dome. The word is “fart”. I know it will come as a surprise to many of you that your Fearless Leader would engage in such juvenile vulgarity. (coughcoughbullshitcoughcough)

Moving right along…

As we all know, “farting”, or in the vernacular, “letting one rip”“here’s a kiss for you” or “cutting the cheese”, is the process in which digestive gasses are forced through the anus at super sonic speeds. This type of “fart” is often referred to as a “gasser”. Men are the main emitters of such farts, truck drivers being the most notable. My Old Man was a trucker for over 40 years and, believe you me, I know a gasser when I hear one.

Females, on the other hand, “fluff” or “poot” when they emit anal gas., with “fluff” being the quieter of the two types of farting.

How “Fart” Came About

Not being an expert in etymology, I have turned to others more knowledgeable than I. A brief look at the word “fart” from Wiktionary informs us:

Etymology

Pronunciation

Verb

fart (third-person singular simple present fartspresent participle fartingsimple past and past participle farted)

  1. (informal, mildly vulgar) To emit digestive gases from the anus; to flatulate.
  2. (colloquial, usually as “fart around) To waste time with idle and inconsequential tasks; to go about one’s activities in a lackadaisical manner; to be lazy or over-relaxed in one’s manner or bearing.

Edified yet?

An Almost Gone Gasser

On the surface Daniel Collins of Teaneck, New Jersey looks any other 72 year old would-be felon galavanting around the city. Recently, however, Daniel erased “would-be” from his resume.

Read the rest…..

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