Monthly Archives: June 2014

Dumbass Video: When a “Cherry” Is Actually One of the Hottest Peppers In the World!

When a cherry is not a cherry…..

…..but one of the hottest peppers in the world!

See the video HERE…

Stuff a Southern Dumbass Would Never Say!

Best of Dumbass News

THE TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU’LL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN DUMBASS SAY:

30. When I retire, I’m movin’ north.

29. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.  

Read the rest…..    

Dumbass Killed Graveyard Dead By Boobies!

Breast Best of Dumbass News

Boobs.

Knockers.

Hooters.

Hammers.

Tits.

Sweater puppies.

Whatever we choose to call them, female mammary glands are a mainstay topic here at Dumbass News.

From the lingerie saleslady that was fired from her job because her heat seekers were too big to the stoopid broad who used her breast implants to smuggle cocaine, we’ve had a grip boobs news like no other web site in the world for almost two and a half years.

Despite the wide range and sheer volume of stories about ta-tas on this blog, new boobies stories come to our attention every day, none odder than the one we’ll cover today.

Read the rest…..

Extreme Dumbass El Cheapos!

Best of Dumbass News

This past Saturday Mrs. Fearless Leader was watching a marathon of a TV show called Extreme Cheapskates on TLC.

As the title of the show indicates, the show is about people who are, shall we say, “frugal” with their money. No we shall not say “frugal” – we shall say “Cheap Ass Motherfuckers”. 

The Dumbasses featured on the program go to great lengths to not spend money.

It’s not like these idjits are broke ass bitches either.

Still, they do the Stoopidest Shit in the History of Stoopid Shit in order to be Cheap Ass Motherfuckers.

One guy on the show had about a quarter million dollars in the bank, but his wallet was so tight you couldn’t drive a straight pin in it with a jackhammer.

Read the rest….

A Whole New Meaning: Stoopid Sign Spelling Mistakes!

Lurn to spel, stoopid.

 

Want Ad: Proofreader Needed

 

We’re Number Won!

Read the rest…..

Wanna Miss a Dental Appointment? Create a Kidnapping Hoax!

Ooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

A new fake kidnapping story!

With a twist.

As if faking your own kidnapping isn’t twisted enough.

Clue to The Twist: dentist. 

I have written a couple of stories about fake kidnappings.

It is my Considered Professional Kidnap Hoax Opinion that both of these Dumbasses had some very legitimate reasons for their actions, I can think of more effective (and non-felonious) methods to employ  which will achieve the desired results.

In the first case above, a D-I-V-O-R-C-E lawyer immediately springs to mind.

With regards to the second example, I’m thinking that a bouquet of roses, a nice supper (not at McDonalds) and perhaps a five carat diamond ring would be most persuasive in re-garnering the affections an inattentive former sweetie pie.

Such sage advice is one reason that I am a Fearless Leader and these two guys are mere Dumbasses.

While my influence on Dumbassery is global, not every body pays attention.

With that in mind, let us delve into today’s story in hopes of salvaging a life that has at a much-too-young age turned down the Expressway to Ineptitude.

Read the rest…..

Meth Head Fights Off 15 Cops, While Whacking His Pee Pee!

WARNING: NSFW!

I ran this story back in January.

In it you’ll find references to the  4th Annual Fred G. Sanford “You Big Dummy” Dumbass of the Year Awards or as they are sometimes referred to as The Dummies.

For New Dumbasses, this is an extravaganza that takes the internet by storm at the end of each year.

The Dummies are a conglomeration of the “best” stoopididity of the year, with nominees neatly divided into varying categories of Dumbassery.

Kind of like the Academy Awards.

Except The Dummies are not fake like the Oscars.

There’s not enough writing talent (or cocaine) in Hollywood that could come up with some of the stunts that real Dumbasses from around the world pull off every day simply because they are fucking idjits.

And sober.

Mostly.

Read the rest…..