It’s a dangerous world out there, Dumbasses.
You can walk out your front door right now and there’s a possibility that you could be mugged, stabbed, shot, hit by a drunk driver, have your gazebos squeezed into oblivion by a mad woman – you know, the usual stuff that tends to happen to Dumbasses.
Dumbass Code Word © Definition
Before I get into the meat (that’s a funny) of today’s story, I feel obligated to define a term of Dumbassery that I use regularly in my posts. That term is “gazebos”.
When I, your Fearless Leader and Exemplar of All That is Good & Holy About Being a Dumbass, write this word, it does not refer to a round shade-producing edifice where one consumes mimosas and has brunch. First, most Dumbasses don’t even know what mimosas or brunch are. The Dumbass version of a typical gazebo, mimosas and brunch are warm beer, 8:30AM and the tailgate of an old pickup truck rusting away in his front yard.
Back to “gazebos”.
I got a comment in a post a few weeks ago that appeared (by the manner in which it was worded) to come from across The Pond. The commenter said he (I assume it was a guy) was unfamiliar with my use of the word “gazebos” and needed some clarification on the matter. For those of you who are new to the Dumbass Horde, “gazebos” is a Dumbass Code Word © for testicles. Nuts. Balls. Gonads. Family Jewels. Huevos. Or in the case of the Fwench, BBs. You get the picture.