We have covered some wild ass DUI stories here on Dumbass News.
- The guy who was all likkered up while driving a bull dozer.
- Another Dumbass was busted at a DUI checkpoint when he was ratted out by a parrot!
- My favorite DUI story is prolly the one where the idjit tried to beat the breathalyzer by sucking on his underwear!
Down in DeKalb County Alabama they do DUI a little differently than many other places do DUI. At least drunk Alabama wimmin do.
To begin with, there is of course the obligatory first step of getting obliterated.
Speaking from the perspective of a Former Professional Drinker, I can without reservation tell you that it is at this point that the real fun begins.
Next on the Get Commode-Huggin’ Drunk and Commit Crimes Against Persons and the State To Do List is to, with malice and aforethought, plan a criminal act – say, like, a robbery.
The next step in this process is to steal a horse. Lord knows that a Drunk Dumbass behind the wheel of a motor vehicle is a terrible idea. A Drunk Dumbass on a horse on the other hand is a much better idea.<—Dripping Sarcasm Alert