“He’s Drunk!”; Parrot Squeals on Guy at Meskin DUI Checkpoint!

I am a Former Professional Drinker.

I had a drinking problem.

Two hands, one mouth.

I have always been a Full Tilt Boogie, Damn the Torpedoes kind of guy.

I was this way when I was slammin’ down Barley Pop as well. (ed. note – for the benefit of the Yoopers out there, Barley Pop is beer)

Drinking wasn’t about getting buzzed.

It was about getting FUBARed – Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition.

And doing stoopid shit.
Nothing criminal, just dumb, silly stuff – dancing with the lampshade on your head kind of silly stuff.
I also had some of the Best Drinkin’ Buddies a Dumbass Could Ever Have. They had my back and if I did something extra stoopid, their lips were sealed.
What happened at The Dumbass Dome, stayed at The Dumbass Dome.
Then again, I never had a parrot as a member of my posse.

4 responses to ““He’s Drunk!”; Parrot Squeals on Guy at Meskin DUI Checkpoint!

  1. It’s a preview of soon to be released updated movie “The Bird’s”. Everything’s in color now…
    (Got a real chuckle over this story)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha,ha,ha!!! I so love this! Especially since it’s written in Spanglish. Fearless Spanglish, no less. I enjoy it when you write a story about meskins and therefore have free reign of the Spanglish language. Hay Dios mio, putas?

    Liked by 1 person

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