Best of Dumbass News
During my years as a Professional Drinker©, I rarely, if ever, needed an excuse to crack open a co’ beer.
Hey! It’s Tuesday! Let’s get wiped out!
Did somebody say, “Party”? <insert beer can opening sound here>
I didn’t have a drinking problem. I drank. I fell down. No problem.
Actually, I did have a drinking problem – two hands, one mouth.
One thing I never did was supply minors with alcohol. That’s felony-in-waiting when said minor had a car wreck and seriously injured, or worse killed, someone after consuming the alcohol that I could have given him.
Unlike this Stoopid Bitch in Palm Beach Shores, Florida.
I am really not picking on Florida. It’s just that, after Cal-ee-forn-ya, you guys down there lead the Nation in the number of Dumbasses per capita. I explain why here.