I am a Guy.
I hate to go shopping.
Except for shopping while taking a doo doo.
What I Do When I Go Shopping
- I make a list.
- I get the shit on The List as quickly as possible.
- I pay for the shit on The List.
- I go home.
This is how God Hisownself intended things to be for men.
On the other hand, The Almighty, Creator of All That Is Good and Shopping Too bestowed upon wimmin two things that in the Final Analysis of the Glory of the Universe are relegated solely to the Fairer Sex – the miraculous ability to give birth to Baby Human Beans and the Capacity to Shop With the Ferocity of a Rampaging Herd of Wild Buffaloes With Their Asses Set On Fire With Kerosene. Sometimes this phenomenon referred to as “Black Friday at Wal Mart Even If It’s Not Black Friday”. It is indeed one of the Great Mysteries of Life.
Galloping to the rescue (on an albino jackass named Cletus) for shopping-challenged Dumbasses like me comes the Official Sultanette of Snark for Dumbass News, Teri from Snarkfest!