Monthly Archives: December 2014

Bring On the Dummy Awards! “Best Use of an Ass” for 2014!


I’ve got one.

You’ve got one.

All God’s chillun got an ass.

Most of us use our asses for the Good of Mankind – sitting, farting and of course twerking.

Others, however, use their asses for the Forces of Evil and Not Niceness.

Our nominees for the Dummy in the Best Use of an Ass of the Year category reveal this Horde of Horrendous Hineys.

Read the rest…..


Prelude to the Dumbass of the Year Awards!

As you Dumbasses review The Dummies from last year, I’ll be busily researching, evaluating and ranking the candidates for the 5th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial “You Big Dummy” Dumbass of the Year Awards for 2014!

As usual, we have an exemplary group of nominees for this year. And by “exemplary group of nominees” I of course mean “a shit load of stoopid fucks who have the collective I.Q. of a Siberian yak’s rectum”. 

For you New Dumbasses, this look back in time will allow you familiarize yourself with the last year’s Dummy Award recipients. For Longtime Dumbasses, this is a chance for you question your judgement and character as to why you still read this shit.

We’ll announce the “winners” of this year’s Dummies beginning tomorrow, so be sure to tell everyone you know to join us for all the stoopididity (!) – especially if you hate them and want their brain to feel as if someone had rammed a white-hot fireplace poker in one ear and out the other.

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New Year’s Resolution Stoopididity!

Out With the Old…..

Good intentions gone awry…..

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Dumbass Travel: Stoopid Motel Signs!

Best of Dumbass News

I thought today would be a nice time to look back at the hotel/motel signs seen by millions of Americans as they traversed the length and breadth of the Fruited Plain over the last year.

By “signs seen by millions of Americans as they traversed the length and breadth of the Fruited Plain over the last few months” I of course mean that I shamelessly stole from the Internet.

What Reason Might that Be?
I Always Look For “Refreshing Poo” When I Travel

Read the rest…..

Crazy Bitch: “You Take My Ring, I Take Your Nuts!”

Best of Dumbass News

Oh, boy!

This is a good one.

Warning for Men: If your stomach turns or you experience extreme pain from mental images of gazebos (testicles, nuts, balls, family jewels)  being squished like rotten tomatoes, read no further!

Singing Soprano

 This man and woman down in the F-L-A had decided to get a divorce, which in and of itself is not a pleasant experience.

Trust me one this one.

The guy thought it would be a good idea if he hid a ring he had given his wife.

 So he did.

The soon-to-be ex-wife took exception to his actions.

Read the rest…..

Time’s A-Wastin’! Dumbass of the Year Nominations Will Close Soon!

You have until 11:59 PM next Tuesday, December 30, 2014, to get in your nominations for 5th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial “You Big Dummy” Dumbass of the Year Awards! Read on to find out what to do so your Favorite Dumbass receives the total humiliation and degradation he or she so richly deserves!

Read the rest…..


Dumbass Double Feature! Frosty the Ho-Man & Santa’s Day Sucks! (VIDEO)