Monthly Archives: January 2015

Dumbass Pervertery: Public Knothole Sex!

Best of Dumbass News

A Legacy.

We’d all like to leave a good one when we go to our Reward.<— That means when we DIE for those of you Stoned Dumbasses in Boulder.

You don’t have to be wealthy to leave a mighty fine Legacy upon your Departure From This Veil of Tears, although it would be nice to leave your loved ones a few million dollars when you croak.

A well-known Very Rich Asshole who has done really nice things with his fortune will not, in my opinion, leave behind what a Dumbass With Half a Brain (But, I repeat myself) would consider a “positive Legacy”.

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Dumbass Survival Tip: Coach Daddy Approved Winter Weather Safety Equipment!

As many of you may know, here at the Dumbass News World Headquarters Bar & Grill Likker Store & Gift Shop, a few days ago we had a blizzard that dumped about two feet of snow on us. As a matter of fact, I did the very first ever Dumbass Tube video while standing in the middle of the damn thing! The wind chill was twenty-five below zero! Not to worry though, I was wearing my Maine Moose Fur Nut Sack Warmer, so my gazebos made it out still attached just below my Daddy Dangle.

Just outside my front door we went from this:

Before Parking Lot Plowing

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Dumbass Crime Report: Lady Steals Money, Hides It In Her Ass!

Best of Dumbass News

I can’t stand a thief.

Like the Dumbass we featured yesterday who robbed a bank and forgot the money on his way out the bank door!

The worst kind of thief is one who you have known, loved and trusted – a family member, a spouse or a friend. 

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Dumbass Moments in Marriage: And That’s When the Fight Started…..

I heard my wife crying in the bathroom. “Honey? What’s wrong” I asked.

“Oh, George! Just look at me: I’m getting so old! I have more gray in my hair than blonde, I have varicose veins on both of my legs, and I’m just fat and wrinkled all over! I really need someone to say something positive about me right now!”

I looked deeply into her eyes and said softly: “Your vision’s real good, honey. That’s something, isn’t it?”

And that’s when the fight started….

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1st Ever Dumbass Tube!!! Blogging In a Blizzard! (VIDEO)




See the video HERE.


When Dumbasses Drunk Text!

99 bottles of beer on the walll…..

You’re welcome for the earworm.

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Making History! I am Gonna Blog in a Blizzard! And Record It!

History is in the making.

What you will witness is unparalleled in the Course of Human History.

As far as I know anyway.

It will be spectacular!

It will be breathtaking!

It will be cold as hell!

It will be stoopid!

Tomorrow, Tuesday, January 26, 2015, a blizzard will blast the Dumbass Dome.

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